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Sunday, December 24, 2006
Ho! Ho! Ho!

Have a fun, tumbling, orgasmic Christmas, everyone!

Saturday, December 16, 2006
And So...


Thank you for your words of congratulations, and err, disbelief. But come on, give this Bitch Goddess a break. I've been miserable for too long.

I've been deliriously happy. I still am. I think.

The last few weeks have been a revelation of all sorts. That the impossibility of meeting a match is not that impossible after all. And the funny thing is, he's even more than I expected or wished, or ever wanted.

He's really great, y'all. And I wish I can write about him. But this is something I seriously want to work on, and I would like to keep to myself.

And just because I'm happy doesn't mean I'll no longer write. This blog's tone might perhaps change, for once.

We shall see. I'm equally curious to find out.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006
On the Wanted BF Ad

Position filled.

Will update soon.

Loving: I MELT WITH YOU by
Nouvelle Vague
By Nouvelle Vague

Wednesday, November 29, 2006
No More Drama

K's Choice

If I could look beyond your face
And photograph your hidden place
Would I find you smiling in the picture

I don't know what you want
Because you don't know,
So what's the point of asking

You're almost happy
Almost content
But your head hurts

Far too many ways to go
We learn so much but never know
Where to look
Or when we should stop looking

I can love the whole of you.
The poetry I stole from you
And hide inside my stomach

You're almost happy
Almost content
But your head hurts

It's easy to get lost in you
And fall asleep inside of you
I want to return to you
A reason to be here
A reason to be here

No I don't know what you want
And you don't know
So what's the point of asking

You're almost happy
Almost content
But your head hurts

Thursday, November 23, 2006
The Bag Lady

Men are like bags. Eye candy. I get that rush of wanting when I see a new one. I simply MUST have him it. Each one has it's own personality, it's own function, it's own story. I always surprise myself at how much I've amassed and moan that I didn't even get to take all of them out for a spin.

I could go crazy for a while, obsessing over that new man bag. What I really hated the most, however, was that with every acquisition, I start to build my life wardrobe around him it. All that constant fussing, the constant update; if He it could be perfect for this party I'll be attending, or if it's the right shade of pink that will go well this new pair of Louboutins I got online (which has been patiently waiting for its perfect match). They are useful for a while, and after a short infatuation with it, they are carefully wrapped and tucked away to my bag closet, and will patiently wait to be remembered. The bag has finally faded into obscurity.

And so, every couple of weeks or so, I unearth everything from my closet and review my bag collection. Every time I get a new one, I have to rid of an old one to make room. I can only keep just as many (or at least what my heart closet allows me to). My rule is to let go of the bag that hasn't been used for two months. That must mean I don't even remember having it. Nor obsess thinking the perfect outfit with it when I use it the next day. No more planning weddings outfits.

And this past few weeks, I have been purging like crazy, ridding myself of unnecessary feelings clutter. There are too many of these men bags that I kept flitting here and there but never really learned to appreciate the beauty and function of each one of them. And so, I decided on which ones to keep. It was a very long and painful process; I lovingly caressed the satin linings and examined closely the monogrammed leather, thoroughly evaluating and justifying if I should keep him it, not wanting to regret that should the right dress, heels or occasion come, he's it's no longer there to complete me the ensemble.

Needless to say, it hurt. I've invested so much on these men bags that I'm not even sure if I'm getting what they're worth, or at least claim to be.  I've been in a buying frenzy for the past year, only to realise that I don't even know what I want in the first place. Some of them are so intricate and complicated pretty to look at that I didn't even want to use it, thinking that I didn't have the right dress or heels for it yet. In my insecurity inadequacy, they have become useless.

But it had to be done.  It's all about me now and liberating myself from the unnecessary. I've never really focused on what I want and what I really needed that I thought I needed every man bag that came my way. I always reasoned that I will eventually use them at some point. You know, the just-in-case's. But it turned out to be a mere quick fix, a quick high to fill that void called emptiness closet space.

And I've never felt so light. All that excess baggage just had to go.

Getty Images

Currently listening to:
Paper Bag
By Fiona Apple

Friday, November 17, 2006
It May Not Always Be So; and I say
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